I think I've already mentioned that the idea for the
"GO" square was to "go back" to a few of the favourite pubs
we'd covered during the tour, a very fine idea suggested by none other than the
Spikey Haired one. I'd done my best to canvass opinion as to what people
thought were the favourite pubs, but probably like most things I do, I'd over
complicated things, trying to ascertain which were peoples favourite beer,
barmaid and tour experience when I should have kept it simple........stupid.
In the end though, the answer was very clear from those who
bothered to respond as two venues were mentioned by many tourists as being
worthy of a second visit, so we settled on a simple rendezvous at the best of
the "chain" pubs, the Viaduct Tavern in Old Bailey and the best of
the "independents" the Hercules Pillars in Holborn. If you want to
find out why they were voted the best I can only direct you to the blog posts
they appeared in.
The tour at the Viaduct - just to prove to me they did go there.
Attendance looked to be very healthy as the Payroll girls seemed
to whip up nearly their whole department into coming out, including all the
regulars of Nicole, Brenda, Gemma, Lucie, Carole and George, those we hadn’t
seen for some time, Emma, Sarah-Jane, Charlene and those we'd never seen before
at all, Natasha and Nicola (yes I know Nicola isn't in Payroll but for this
exercise she is). My department on the other hand were rather scraping the
barrel as only Ed, Mickey, Nick and Charlie put in appearances although we too
had a new face in that of Charmer Palmer.
But the full attendance doesn't stop there, my "local"
drinking buddies Tim and Steve were also going to make it and even the legend
that is NateDawg was taking the express tractor from Norwich for a swift pint
or two in London before heading off elsewhere.
I, just to make things interesting, had actually got a day off
work on the day of the tour and this was to take another tourist, my now
teenage Reubot indoor skydiving in Milton Keynes. The sky diving all went to
plan, but what didn't was the journey home which saw me waste far too much of
my life on the M1, M25 and M4 shouting at the SatNav.
So it was a hot and sweaty and non-too impressed BGC who found
himself kicking his heels on Thatcham station platform for the 1/2 hour wait
for the 19:00 train to London. Luckily this dark and despondent mood was
somewhat lifted by a text from Slowpoke Sam who initially texted to say how
sorry he was he couldn't make it tonight having only just got home and was
therefore running far too late. Needless to say, as soon as he heard I also was
delayed as an apology from the Met Police was more than happy to sling on a
very dodgy pair of shorts and join me for the evening expedition to the big
smoke.
Alas due to our late arrival we had to forgo the joys of the
Viaduct Tavern and the company of NateDawg who apparently had much better
offers of much better beers in Birmingham, so we rather dishevelledly made an
appearance at the Hercules Pillars to a half hearted cheer and a demand for the
"prizes".
The only time the tour travelled by bus - and I missed it.
Perhaps this was the real reason why so many people had come out;
nothing to do with my company and the beer but instead my misguided advertisement
that everyone attending tonight would get a prize for coming on the tour. Well
I was true to my word even if perhaps the reality of typing "Monopoly Novelty"
into the eBay search engine only produced some pretty lacklustre gifts.
For everyone who had attended at least one tour but not more than
10 separate pub visits, I'd managed to pick up some splendid packs of Monopoly
branded tissues, just right for the handbag or pocket. These were eagerly
snapped up by the lower-end tourists with many a comment of "exceeding
personal charm" etc etc.
For the boys who'd achieved more than 10 visits but hadn't made it
to the dizzy heights of the top 5 they got a very nice Monopoly badge. It was
just rather unfortunate that these people, No-Nickname Michael, Big-J and
Munchkin Steve were all no-shows and therefore it was rather like those award
ceremonies when the prize is presented by video link or "here to accept
the award on his behalf....." except that we had no video link and no-one
to accept the awards on their behalf. So actually it was nothing like that at
all.
For the girls who'd achieved a similar status (more than 10 but
not in the top 5) I had actually managed to pull off a fairly decent prize.
Little Monopoly houses fashioned into earrings. Nicole and Brenda seemed
delighted, especially Nicole who favours earrings usually fashioned by Pat
Butcher. Gemma seemed a little miffed though as she was the top scoring girl
and I'd noticed she never seems to wear earrings I'd decided to get her something
a bit more special in a Monopoly bracelet (hand crafted from little monopoly
houses and a single monopoly hotel) which would show her scraggy wrists off to
their best advantage. Although I think she liked the bracelet apparently she
does wear earrings beneath that beaver pelt of a hair-do. But anyway with a
couple of spare pairs of earrings (they only sold them in packs of 5) she also
got a pair as did Emma who can turn on the charm when there's a freebie on the
cards.
An ear - and an earring.
The final 5 all got individual gifts, well sort of as in the case
of Charlie and Ney Guy Micky, they both got a luxury Monopoly mug. Aussie Pete,
who sadly was another no-show got some Monopoly cufflinks, which were presented
on the following Monday. He instantly put them on but strangely I've not seen
them since.....
Buddy Rob never took part in the Cask Marque Cask Finder scanning
and so alas never qualified for a Cask Marque bottle opener. Seeing an opportunity
I thought such an item would make a splendid gift and could only get a branded Budweiser
one of course.
At the end of it all, there wasn't much doubt about who was the
winner in terms of accompanying tours. Spikey Haired Ed, he who'd almost laid
his life down in the cause of the tour had made an appearance in no less that
100 pubs. Quite an achievement. But what on earth do you buy the man who has
everything, including the best hair-do in London? In my case I bought some
Monopoly tour books which I handed over saying "If you don't want them,
I'd love to have them back!" I think he got the hint.
The final prize of the evening was the free to enter raffle where
the book of raffle tickets had cost me more than the prize. Anticipation was heightened
as bar man Joe pulled out the winning ticket which, perhaps aptly was owned by
Slowpoke Sam. To say he was delighted with the prize would be an understatement.
Probably best to let his acceptance tweet speak for itself.
Sam - Charming.
So there we have it. There were a few more drinks to be drunk, a
couple more photos to be taken but as people started to slip away the evening
fizzled out and the tour ended without any hint of fireworks and certainly not
a top hat in sight. Micky and I were the last men standing but even we had
packed things up by 10:30.
Probably the most asked question of the night was "so, what
are we doing next?" and although I do have a couple of bubbling ideas, I
think it might be best to let it all lie for a while. Anyway if the suggestion
of "let’s do Cludeo next" is a serious one, it's going to take me a
while to think up how to apply the rules of that game!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The final post reads far more melancholic that I want it to. The
final tour was an anti-climax but that's not to say the whole tour hasn't been
a success. Leaving aside all the rushing around and lateness which obviously
put a dampener on the evening we'd also made that classic mistake of trying to
recreate a fantastic evening by revisiting a location. When we firstly stumbled
on the Hercules Pillars we'd had a bit of an awful evening, stroppy barmen and barladies,
terrible weather and the company of the drunkest man in the universe. To cross
into Pat's welcoming domain was a joy that evening and whilst he made us more
than welcome again on this night and the beer was in fine form (haven't
mentioned at all what I drunk this night) there was a sense we were all
searching for something that just wasn't in the air this night.
Perhaps then we shouldn't dwell on this final night but think back
to some of the things which really did stand out on the tour. Firstly there
were the places we went to; London is such a fantastic location but even there
it's very easy to stick to the beaten track of the West End and the tourist
sights. Without the tour I'd never have had a reason to go down to Elephant and
Castle and see the concrete monstrosity that is the shopping centre there.
Without the tour we'd have never have gone up as far north as Camden for an
after work drink. Without the tour we’d have never learnt the historical facts
about the Old Bailey cells and where William Blake is buried.
And then there was of course the pubs. There were the splendid,
whether that was down to their history or their uniqueness (Olde Mitre, Viaduct
Tavern, George) but let us not forget those which are just carving out a living
for themselves at just being someone's local and being the sort of pub I feel
most at home in (The Red Lion, The Kings Arms, The Cheshire Cheese) and by the
same token, even though they're not my preferred kettle of fish, those pubs
which are still making otherwise derelict and empty spaces into somewhere for
people to gather and talk and live (Tyborn, Rockingham Arms)
There were also the people we met; how lovely it was to bump into
lovely Heike in the Edinboro Castle, remember the photographing artist Helio
Teles (still friends on Facebook!), the nameless Spanish & Austrian IT
engineers and I'm not sure whether Pete is still in touch with all his male
chat up friends.
And finally how about all those things that happened and are the
sort of things that will make you say in years to come, "Oh, do you
remember when we went to the Red Lion in Angel, yes you do, it was when Ed got
run over by a bus" - or "it was when BGC found himself in hospital
just 24 hours after posing with Churchill and Roosevelt" or "it was
when Aussie Pete let rip on the charity collector"
There's just one final image I want to finish with, and maybe it's
this that sums up what I was trying to achieve all along. When Sam and I walked
into the Hercules on that final night, the first sight that greeted me was that
of Brenda and Nicole just returning from the bar with pints of ale (turned out
it was Hobgoblin) - so that's without coercion and prompting possibly a couple
of people who's when next trying to decide what to drink will say, "do you
know what, get me a beer....."
There were some perks to doing the tour.
Now what were the rules of Cluedo...........
No comments:
Post a Comment