Fenchurch Street Station

“It’s Christmas time and there really is no need to feel afraid.” Well, speaking personally Paul, if I was to ever wake up and find you whispering those words into my ears I’d bloody well shit myself……..but that unlikely scenario aside, that introduction is just meant to inform readers (still hopeful that I can use that noun in the plural) that this will be the last posting before we stuff our faces with turkey whilst wearing paper hats.

Again in an amazing piece of planning, the square on this festive week is Fenchurch Street station, which if you’ve noted that Vine Street was the nearest square to our offices then you’ll know that this is the second nearest square. An ideal opportunity to rally the troops and force all the previous excuse-mongers and tour-dodgers out on the street.

 

Fenchurch Street Station - One of the prettier London Stations.

 

In reality what happened was illness claimed Aussie Pete, early Xmas holidays claimed Buddy Rob and most of the other fair-weather tourists cried off for one reason or another. Still, we had the welcome return of No-Nickname Michael after his dry month of November had ended, New Guy Micky had come back from the wilderness of working from home and tour regulars Charlie and Spiky Haired Ed can always be relied on. We also had the surprising appearance of Big-J, who apart from a fleeting appearance during Cask Ale week in a non-tour venue had avoid the tour so far, quoting excuses ranging from guitar practice, family taxi duties, bicycle repairs, filing claims against other road users and writing the 10^th volume of M&S memoirs (I understand the working title is “Mark, Spencer and I”).

 

Talking about Spiky Haired Ed (well sort of) I haven’t heard anything back from Debbie and her cut and keep Spiky  Haired Ed but in other blog news I did stumble across another pub review blog site thanks to a tweet from Beery Nate – It would seem that the mysterious Pubman79 has visited several pubs that we’ve also took in as part of the tour and it’s interesting to see his opinions compared to mine. But imagine my surprise when on his review of The Blue Posts (we did this for Pall Mall) the cheeky beggar had gone and used my photo! Not that I’m particularly bothered and if someone else has decided that my awful quality snaps are good enough to borrow then I’ll take it as a compliment!  

 

No-nickname Michael and a blurry New Guy Micky do their Flanagan and Allen impression - "Underneath the arches....." - Just ask your gran.

Anyway, onto the tour. Much in the same way as when we did Vine Street, it was but a short stroll past Tower Hill tube station and into Crutched Friars and the first pub, Cheshire Cheese. I promised this one when we visited a similarly named pub during Strand, not that I’ve found out in the meantime why this seems to be an not uncommon pub name whereas there doesn’t seem to be anywhere called The Wensleydale. This Cheshire Cheese is tucked beneath the arches that the tracks from Fenchurch Street Station run from and is owned by the Stonegate pub company, who I have to admit I’ve never heard of before (we have previously visited one of their pubs, The Earl of Camden) but they’re the company behind chains like Yate’s and Slug and Lettuce. The Cheshire Cheese is part of their “Great Traditional Pubs” brand and the pub is certainly traditional in the sense that it has a bit of an eighties feel about it. Dark red wallpaper (flocked?), patterned carpets and large hanging chandeliers. The beer range was a bit limited, nice to see 5 handpumps but all had fairly regular ales on, Pedigree, Hobgoblin, London Pride etc. I plumped for Shepherd Neame’s Spitfire with Big-J and Charlie following my lead whilst the other three went for Krombacher – which came in very nice branded and fluted glasses.

 

It looked more 80's in real life

 

Even though it was only a Tuesday I think a lot of workers had decided to celebrate the lead up to Xmas as the place was quite full with a raucous crowd, which wasn’t helped by the loud music being unnecessarily pumped over it all. We also had several big screen TVs playing footie repeats (at least the sound was off) which no-one was watching.

 

On the plus side the Cask Marque certificate was easily found, pinned on the wall just above the sink behind the bar, but accessible to lean over and scan. One drink saw us through though and we made our way further along Crutched Friars to the aptly named Crutched Friar. But before we discuss this pub, let’s have a quick history lesson. The name Crutched Friars comes from a religious order so named because of the staff the monks carried. There will be a test on this later………………. 

The Crutched Friar (the pub) is another from the Stonegate stable but this time from their Classic Inn brand. It certainly has a more up to date feel than the Cheshire Cheese and seemed to attract a plethora of “suits” as again the pub was heaving. I seemed to wait an age to get served but to their credit there were hundreds of barmaids and as soon as I was actually being served they all seemed to want to ask what I wanted. The one that did serve me failed to get three pints from the barrel of Black Sheep Bitter so Big-J and No-nickname Michael actually got pints of Cocker Hoop (they didn’t know this on the night) but the other three got their desires of Meantime Pale Ale, Cobra and Grolsh (no prizes for matching the beer to the drinker) 

 

BGC and Big-J - I am the crutch to his friar.

Again to Stonegate’s credit the certificate was hanging nicely available on the wall but as I was scanning I noted that there was a duplicate certificate opposite it. It turns out one certificate was running out at the end of December and the one for next year was already hanging up. Charlie tried to scan them both but Cask Finder is wise to this trick! 

Again it was a rather hurried drink and another hurry along the street, turning right into New London Street and the Windor, which ducks beneath Fenchurch Street Station itself. Amazingly again this was another Stonegate pub (they must save on delivery costs to these three) but we were back to the Great Traditional Pub brand now. It’s a compact little place not helped by the fact that half the pub was cordoned off for a poker evening. Unfortunately the framed and hung certificate was in the cordoned off area but that didn’t stop Ed and me sneaking in for a sneaky scan.

 

At the Windsor, not! Geddit, Windsor Knot.....Oh please yourselves

It was another different ale for the ale drinkers, this time being Adnams’s festive offering of Shingle Shells although No-nickname Michael and New Guy Micky went for a different Admans offering of Ghost Ship.  

We started to take casualties on the night now. Charlie had to leave for a family gathering whilst New Guy Micky had to scoot off to the late night Marks and Spencer to buy a dinner jacket for this Thursday’s Xmas Party. No-nickname Michael was getting a taste for the demon sauce again and persuaded us to take in one more pub. Just around the corner from the station is the Shepherd Neame pub of the East India Arms – the last remnants of the East India Company whose offices used to stand in the area. 

 

If Ed had taken the photo properly you might have been able to read the history here.

After the crush of the other pubs we elected to stand outside keeping ourselves warm with pints of Late Red (Oranjeboom for Ed and diet coke for Big-J)  and after the rather identikit fittings of the first three pubs the unique and charming character of the East India Arms was quite lovely. On return from the toilets I asked the barman what the interesting looking bottles in the fridge were. The answer was a 5% Double Stout, a 7% Christmas Ale and a 9% IPA. I volunteered to start No-nickname Michael and myself off on the Double Stout whilst Ed changed to Asahi. Big-J knowing that a wobbly bike ride home was still to come sensibly stuck to the coke.  

The Double Stout was gorgeous and when asking for the Christmas Ale I even got the choice as to whether I wanted a chilled one or a room temperature one. I went for room temperature which was a good idea initially but as the pint went on it did get quite heavy and claggy.  

Although I would have been most interested to see what the IPA tasted like, I think at 9% it would have landed me in the same position as the previous square so good sense won over and I decided it was time to leave – a short stagger down Fenchurch Street to Aldgate Station and a journey round to Paddington muttering to myself on the tube. At least this way you always get a seat. 

The final funny to report is when ordering some sustenance from the buffet car on the train I asked for “something with bacon” – The host turned a puzzled look on me and replied “something with pain killers?” – Well she did have a point! 

Number of Cask Marque Pubs visited  = 133 – I do declare the first visit where every pub had the certificate available!

 

Why are the Crutched Friars so called? = Please provide your answer in the form of a 200 word essay.

 

Will there be ale at the office Xmas Party on Thursday? = BGC reckons "no" and that means he'll have to winge and moan, boring the tits off those around him as he decrys how come no-one in Britain seems to respect the British brewing industry.

 

Next Stop = Leicester Square

Trafalgar Square

Thought I'd start with a picture this week.

I think it’s actually a pretty good achievement that I’ve (we’ve) managed to complete two whole sides of the Monopoly Board and got nearly half way along the third side when finally we hit our first “venue issue”. Basically the nearest Cask Marque pubs to Trafalgar Square are the Silver Cross and the Lord Moon of the Mall, pubs we previously crossed off the list when we did Whitehall. The next nearest seemed to be The Harp, which again had already been  visited as part of Northumberland Avenue and going by the Cask Finder map, the next grouping of pubs were all centred around Leicester Square, a place we have yet to visit and therefore not one I wanted to encroach onto just yet.

Blue Peter never seemed to shut up about this tree - Now I've finally seen it!

Luckily though, Leicester Square has an absolute plethora of Cask Marque pubs surrounding it, so I decided that if we concentrated on the easterly side of this pub grouping we could still cover a nice little section of the pubs but still leave a sizable bunch to be done come Leicester Square time.

So although the location of the pubs was decided we took rather a hit on the number of attendees as come Friday when we finally decided to make the trip it was only Aussie Pete, Spiky Haired Ed, Charlie and myself on board. Buddy Rob had prior engagements, New Guy Mickey was feeling under the weather and No-nickname Michael was coming along all until the last minute when he bailed on us! And this even after his dry month had ended!

Never mind because although it was only the four of us who ventured into the biting cold of Trafalgar Square to take the all important photos – I successfully managed to ignore the encouragement of the others to straddle a lion – and have a look at the twinkling Xmas tree, both Charlie and I had been in contact with old friends who were hoping to make an appearance sometime during the night.

Ed wanted me to lie in the lion's paws! Yeah! Right!

From Trafalgar Square we dodged the traffic and made our way up St Martin’s Place to the first pub, a Taylor Walker place called The Salisbury. Absolutely rammed to the gunnels, as one might expect on a Friday night near the heart of Theatreland we never the less threaded ourselves through the throng and somehow I found myself nominated as kitty man, again! Amongst the more common ales (Bombardier, Tim Taylor & London Pride) I spotted a festive special from Solebay Brewery called Santa’s Spirit. Puzzlingly I cannot find anything about this brewery on both the internet and in CAMRA’s Good Beer Guide and I wonder if this is a test-microbrewery from Adams? Any further information to the usual address please!

The Salisbury, all gleaming lights and brass.

The beer itself was fine, nice deep ruby red with a good bitter hop character and even lager boy Ed was kept satisfied with a pint of proper Budweiser. Although the pub was full, service was excellent and the polite barman even touched his heart after I paid for the round - I can’t even say the bloke behind me yelling in my ear “3 pints of Bomba mate!” put me off! Amazingly although the pub was a real squeeze we easily found the certificate, framed and on a pillar by the bar. We did need a little bit of extra light help to get the scan but it was soon in the bag.

The pub is one of Taylor Walker’s gems, all gleaming etched mirrors, low hanging crystal lanterns and bronze arte nouveau lamps so it was a bit of a shame that we decided to escape the squeeze after just one pint and made our way just round the corner into St Martin’s Court and another Taylor Walker place, the inappropriately named Round Table. I say inappropriately named because for starters, it’s not round and secondly there’s not many tables, and none of the ones that are there are round too!

The Round Table - not in the least bit round or tabley

Initially the pub was just as full as The Salisbury and it was a fight to get to the bar and get our order of 3 pints of Bombardier and 1 pint of Estrella. Spiky Haired Ed had the audacity to correct my pronunciation of Estrella (apparently it’s “estraya”) as we installed ourselves in a cramped little corner of the pub by a table (not round) with two Norwegians and the biggest camera in the world.

We spotted the certificate on the wall behind the bar but it was an old style out of date one without the QR code. Aussie Pete asked the barmaid why they had an expired certificate up and she raced to get the bar manager who explained how the new one was “in the post”.

Although the pub isn’t anywhere near as decorative or attractive as The Salisbury we decided to stay for another round and passing the kitty over to Pete I asked him to get 3 pints of Abbot Ale as this was the last beer we hadn’t tried. “3 pints of Abigail?” repeated the antipodean special one. So maybe I can’t pronounce Estrella but there are limits…………….!

Just as we were half way down the pints of Abigail, Charlie reported that his old schoolmate One-Time Tom was in the vicinity of the pub, and he wasn’t wrong as One-Time Tom joined us with a pint and an immediate download of Cask Finder as soon as we explained what it was we were actually doing. He then went on to demonstrate his uncanny party piece of being able to list the highest chart position and number of weeks on the chart for any 80’s song. A very impressive if not a little bit worrying talent.

And then talk about good timing, just as we were pulling on jackets to leave my old Army mate, Romanian Reg appeared! No time for a drink Reg we’re off to the next place!

The next place was The Angel and Crown which meant retracing our step to The Salisbury and crossing to the other side of St Martin’s Place as the two pubs are opposite each other. The Angel and Crown is one of a small chain of 9 pubs across London run by the ETM Group, or brothers Ed and Tom Martin. The pub is a cool trendy venue, attracting a cool and trendy crowd, which means I certainly don’t fit in, but the beer range was excellent with a couple of pints of DoubleDark Oatmeal Stout from Caledonian and a couple of pints of Jugged Hare from Sambrooks Brewery. Ed got the lovely treat of a pint of Bitburger Pilsner, a real German classic and one I hope he enjoyed!

Charlie took the plunge to ask the barmaid about the certificate but it was one of those occasions when we could have been asking if the chiropodist was free as the poor woman didn’t have a clue what we were going on about. So we escaped the cool and trendy throng and stood outside to drink our pints which enabled Reg and myself to catch up on old times and for Aussie Pete to get someone to take our photo whilst we were all still standing.

Outside the Angel & Crown - L-R, Romanian Reg, Spiky Haired Ed, Charlie, BGC, One-Time Tom, Aussie Pete - I win the best turnups competition. The others didn't know that was happening.

We pushed on up the narrow and winding New Row to the junction of Garrick Street and Bedford Street and the corner pub of The Roundhouse, a Fuller’s pub which at least has the decency to be round, well at the front anyway. One-Time Tom led the rush to the bar and secured pints of a Fuller’s special limited edition ale called Traitor’s Gate. The website says it’s only been brewed in limited supply and only stocked at a handful of specially chosen pubs, which on the one hand is great because I now feel privileged to have tried such a lovely pint, but on the other hand a shame because it’s such a nice tasting brew it’ll be a shame to not see it regularly.

It was about now that the evening started to get a bit wobbly and I can remember getting a handful of bottles of Fuller’s Black Cab Stout (I’d asked for London Porter, but they didn’t have any) and a single shot of Jägermeister for Ed because he wanted a bomb but the barmaid told me it was a waste of money for the can of Red Bull for just one shot – so I drank it.

Next thing I know I’m sat on the floor amongst the coats, jackets and bags.

Taxi for BGC time; Aussie Pete kindly guided me to the Leicester Square tub station but that still didn’t stop me making a torturous route back to Paddington, via Euston Road where I dashed through 6 lanes of traffic and vaulted over a central reservation and somehow didn’t die.

Paddington saw me board a sleeper train to God only knows where until I realised that I might be better to get off this one before it left and instead take the last proper train home instead and someone or something must have been smiling down on me as I managed to wake up at the right stations to change trains and eventually successfully navigated home.

I blame the food.

Number of Cask Marque Pubs visited  = 126 - It was a scan disaster. Only one added - TREVOR!

Walking tip = Bouncing from one curb to the other increases your distance by at least double.

Is Spiky Haired Ed original? = Well apparently not. Charlie found this blog and this character. The resemblance is uncanny! I’ve mailed Debbie, the owner of the blog, to see if she agrees!

Next Stop = Fenchurch Street Station

P.S. We didn’t have any food.